Wednesday, April 05, 2006


I had a yummylisious dinner that I like to talk about.

First, take a deep breath. close out vegan lunch box. (I mean, that's the only way you are gonna find this!) close out anything with an ounce of nutrition writing, too. In fact, close out the PETA website, because who knows where all this sugar came from:

My dinner:
brussle sprouts and onions (nuked...)
1 bowl (as in, like 1.5 cups) multi-grain cheerios
1 bowl (same amount) cocoa crispies
1/2 a mini bagel w/ pbj
a smallish muffin

It WAS a huge dinner, but yesterday I only had about 500 calories (yet I spent SEVEN HOURS doing homework!!!!!!) and the day before I only had 600. So I deserve food.

ARG. I was sooo stressed out mon. and tues. Like, I didn't sleep (in two days I have had FOUR tylanol PMs, one full ambian, and some asprin) well, and in choir we are singing the most beautiful song (click on the listen part--I'm an alto) and I STARTED TO CRY. TWICE. I had to be taken to the counselors. (we are actually quite good friends, now.)

But something happened to me today. So, after therapy (yes...therapy...every Wed. 11 am...) I was being driven back to school and (if you live in Seattle area you will have noticed this) it was so warm and I was sitting cross-legged in the front seat. As I said before, I have been taking a lot of sleeping meds lately, (I know...not good) and I was having a very weird headache--kind of like someone had submerged me in water. Anyways, the sun was sort of beaming down on me, and even though I had a math test, science test, presentation, and a pepar all due that day, I suddenly felt so relaxed it was unimaginable.

See, I have this beach house in Long Beach, Washington--and it is my absolute favorite place in the world. And as my mom and I were driving to hell (Islander Middle School...) I felt not as if I was about to take a test, but like I was driving through this one wooded area about an hour away from The Beach. (Yes, it is capitilzed.) It's all these trees, but in some areas they've all been chopped down, and they are being regrown. Somehow, to me that is the most peacefull part of the drive down, even my one-month old cousin stopped screaming at this part.

I felt so relaxed, my head so heavy, my body so just...sitting there. As I walked to math, I moved so I took the test, even though I knew I was making mostly wrong answers (arg...algebra is NOT my thing) I was in a complete calmity.

Then, back in choir, I started crying again (to the same song) but these wern't "I don't know what the hell to do" tears, these were "I am so relaxed I can't hold the tears in" tears. When I had to talk to a couple of friends I sort of moved out...but it was amazing.


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